Have a Nice Life - “The Big Gloom”

Oh please, please, please release me

I suppose it’s fitting that on the same day that all of my soured memories of my ex-girlfriend started rushing back into my head, a copy of Have a Nice Life’s Deathconsciousness arrived on my doorstep. Nothing serves as a better soundtrack to a potential downward spiral into depression than this record.

In the days after she left me, I ritually went running late at night, long after my family was asleep. I listened to Deathconsciousness on repeat, letting the crushing instrumental drones pound my ears over and over again, willing my lungs to cave in and wanting nothing more than to collapse from exhaustion and pass out on the side of the road. I can’t listen to this album without thinking about that, and clearly these songs are inextricably bound to those awful feelings I had on those late night runs. But even though I know and recognize the true cause of my hurting, part of me wants to believe that this record actually caused it. If any album could have the power to do so, it would be Deathconsciousness. Maybe it’s not so far fetched.